10. Morrys Scott
I found this photo of Morrys Scott on the Swansea Darts team website. I’m not sure if it’s him. It certainly looks like the one I remember.
Young Morrys probably wouldn’t be on this list if it wasn’t for a certain cult appeal due to his 3 goals over two games against Gloucester City in the FA Cup in 1989. Apart from those two games, he did absolutely nothing. No goals in nine games. Some people wondered if it was the same player that had played in the Cup.
After leaving Cardiff, he played for every club in South Wales, including Barry Town, Briton Ferry, Inter Cabletel, and Afan Lido. In 139 games, he scored just 14 times. (He was a centre-forward!) He looks like a tidy darts player, though.
9. Alan Knill
This man should never have played for Cardiff City. If you could imagine Alan Tait wearing a blue shirt, you can get some idea of how I felt when this ginger spanner turned out for us for 4 games in 1993. He is the only Cardiff City player I’ve ever booed apart from Mark “Chopper” Harris.
Alan Knill made one Wales appearance where he was laughably asked to mark Ruud Gullit in Amsterdam. Surprisingly, Gullit does not mention him as one of his most difficult opponents.
8. Jeff Chandler
When I hear those City fans criticising Peter Whittingham’s tackling, or their boos when Stephen McPhail misplaces a pass, I often wonder what they would make of players like Pat Heard, Tony Carrs and Jeff Chandler.
I’ve included Chandler here as a representative of those midfield players of the nineties who defied logic. How on earth could they be professional footballers? How come they did so well at other clubs? Pat Heard won a European Cup? Come off it. Someone’s having a laugh. Jeff Chandler was just awful in his time here in 1989-91. He is now a councellor for youth offenders. Well he certainly offended me in 1990.
7. Robbie Fowler
Heralded as the club’s biggest ever signing, Robbie Fowler turned out to be one of its worst.
If ever there was a case of being picked on the basis of your name, this was it. Robbie Fowler might have been a legend, but he was so bad at Cardiff that he actively hampered the team. When Fowler was playing, he made so few runs that the midfield just didn’t have an outlet and were repeatedly caught in possession. Thankfully, injuries meant he didn’t play very often.
6. Peter Grotier
Maybe we’d been spoilt with Bill Irwin and Ron Healey, but one of my most clear memories from that 1980 season was that Peter Grotier was responsible for everything that was bad. He was a total liability, and my heart would sink if his name was in the programme. In my mind he had a curly perm, and was nicknamed Fozzie Bear. However, I’ve been unable to find photographic proof of this.
He only played 38 games for City before going back to Lincolnshire, where he had been bought by a fans’ whip-round earlier in his career. He now imports shoes in Essex.
5. Kevin Lloyd
I really wanted to like Kevin Lloyd. He was a Welsh-speaking full back from Caersws who joined us from Hereford United. But bloody hell, he was rubbish. Really really bad. Maybe he suffered from playing in one of the most miserable Cardiff teams ever to turn out at Ninian Park, and that 1997 team had its share of duffers. No wonder they played in front of an average crowd that season of just 3,594. He somehow played 33 games for us before retiring early with a back injury after another spell at Caersws.
4. Cameron Toshack
There were rumours that John Toshack was paying the wages of his son Cameron while he was with Cardiff City in 1990, and that would certainly offer some explanation of his signing from Bristol City. He had started his career at Swansea before being released.
Cameron Toshack was a nice kid. I remember him chatting to me during a pre-season game at Hednesford. And I mean during the game. “Hang on, just let me take this throw-in!”
But he was no footballer. After his 4 substitute appearances and a start against Wrexham, he tried his luck with Dundee, Weymouth before giving up. He joined the coaching staff at Neath Athletic in 2009. At least he had a good song at City:
His Father’s name is Johnny,
His Mother’s name is Sue,
His name is Cameron Toshack,
And he’s playing for the blues.
3. Steve White
Bit of a personal one this. People will look at his record and point out that Steve White scored 17 goals in 45 games for Cardiff City. That’s a decent record by any standards. And yes, of course he was better than Cameron Toshack, but God I hated watching him. He was already 37 by the time he joined us in 1996, and I just really resented paying any sort of money to see him creak around a pitch with the mobility of a JCB digger. God knows what he was like at Bath City, where he played until he was 42.
2. Peter Zois
I admit that Peter Zois is here partially because he has a great name. But his extraordinary Cardiff City career warrants his high placing in this list of failures. Zois was signed from nowhere as goalkeeping cover for Jon Hallworth during an injury crisis in 1998, and played his only game for the club against Rotherham at Ninian Park. It looked like his first ever game of football as he provided about as much protection as a paper condom during a 2-2 draw. Burrows put him on a boat back to Australia the next day. Those that were there still speak about the Peter Zois game with awe.
1. Warren Feeney
Warren Feeney is not just the worst player I’ve ever seen play for Cardiff City, he’s the worst professional footballer I’ve ever seen on a pitch. He was a centre-forward who failed to score in 20 appearances for a very successful side. I don’t even remember him having a shot. As I wrote this, he has played another 8 games for Oldham, that’s 28 games without a goal. His place at the head of this list was cemented for me in his disgraceful appearance as substitute in a home League game against Leicester City late in the 2009/10 season. With Cardiff down to 10 men and the team absolutely exhausted, Feeney was brought on late in the game to chase down the opposition. He failed to break into a trot during his time on the field.